Say what?

Clock...
In a small shop selling clocks, my sister, brother in law and I was looking at the many selections of wall clocks on display when the wife of the shop owner came along and asked “are you looking for a clock?”

My brother in law said “Yes, but we’re just looking around for something we might like.”
Duh?! Why else would we be there

Try, “Uh, no, we’re just admiring the wall that’s painted white” . Of course no one said that. It didn't come out as quick, and we were being polite.
_______________________________

Fasting...
I was at the check out counter paying for a can of beer during the fasting month. The cashier was a Muslim lady.

Cashier, “You’re not fasting are you?”

I shook my head and said no. How bizarre!

Try “ Uhm, I’m not sure…let me check my I.D. Hmmm, well, I don’t have a Muslim name. And blimey, I’m about to buy a can of beer, which I’m thinking of drinking right after I’ve paid for it! I guess I’m not fasting after all.” But naturally I didn't say it. I was struck dumb.

I mean no religious disrespect and I know she only has good intentions but how hard can the math be?
____________________________

Cigarette...
A friend took out a self rolling cigarette contraption. It is a device for a smoker lay the paper on a guided roller, align the tobacco after the filter, close the lid and viola, you get a freshly rolled cigarette.

“How does the edge stick?” I asked.

“The edge is made like a stamp; you lick it before you close the lid.” explained my friend.

“And the adhesive is not toxic?” came my stupid question.

“Of course not. Besides, smoking is already toxic, no point worrying about the adhesive.”
_____________________________

Solitude...
Question: What do you get when you ask “what are you doing?” to a friend who is reading a novel entitled ‘a hundred years of solitude’?

Answer: “Isn’t it obvious? I need privacy for the next 100 years….”

But of course the novel is not about seclusion and it does not take that long to digest. This is just my dumb assumption to a careless observation. Ass,u,me? No....
_____________________________

Iced Lemon Tea...
My friend, Terrence and I were ordering our drinks at a coffee shop during tea break. Taking our orders was this petite young lady, a small girl perhaps. She spoke with an Indonesian accent and looked so young that the whole thing could be doubly illegal.

Anyway, I ordered coffee and Terrence ordered iced lemon tea and we continued our conversation. As she jotted our orders down she faintly asked a question. We didn’t hear her the first time and asked her to repeat her question.
“S’juk kah?” she said.

Again we couldn’t get what she was saying so Terrence politely asked her to repeat herself.

Looking at him, she repeated “Itu ice lemon tea, mau sejuk kah? (Translated : That iced lemon tea, you want it cold?)”

Utterly bewildered, Terrence and I looked at each other and grinned wildly.

“Uhm yah! Sejuk” he said and she left.

We couldn’t stand it! It was outrageously funny! Could you get it any other way? A hot iced lemon tea maybe? Does the word ice mean anything? We knew she was young but she couldn’t have been born just yesterday?

This little incident amuses us till this day! We crack up every time we revisit the tale.