Death comes like a thief, we do what we can

Are you ready to talk about death?

Chances are, you’re not. 

Heck, no one likes to think about death, let alone discuss it.  It’s a taboo subject in most societies. No one looks forward to death because of the emotional pain, psychological suffering and a host of inconveniences that comes thereafter.  It’s the same problem, looking at the death bed, or from it.

However, there are some cases when death comes bringing emotional relief, psychological remedy and a host of conveniences.  It could also be the same solution, looking at the death bed, or from it.

I’m sure some of us may have come across these thoughts, “He’s suffered enough,  please death, come swift and ease the pain” or “Please God, take me away, I’ve had enough” or “When is this tyrant going to die and rid us all of this misery”.

In Malaysia, we’ve seen facilities upgraded and roads resurfaced during campaigns for by elections triggered by the demise of MPs.  And let’s not forget the nagging urge to elect a better leader of the state because some people just won’t step down.  They take the vow “Till death do us part” literaly for everything they own.

So tell me, is death such a taboo subject after all?

Apparently many still think it is.  I’ve had two friends asking for help to complete a survey relating to death.  One is a catholic priest furthering his studies for a Masters Degree in Counseling with a project on ‘Getting to terms with death in the family’ and the other is a Buddhist activist with a PhD project titled ‘End of Life and a Good Death’.

Both of them are facing difficulty in getting the required number of participants in their survey.  Race and religion are some of the factors causing us to shy away from the discussion of death.  Some may be facing death and some may still be traumatized by deaths of their loved ones.  Still, some just don’t really think about it and therefore never gave it much thought. 

Perhaps if you’ve read this far, I could reach out and request for your assistance to give my friend just 5 minutes of your time to briefly answer a few questions.  If you are reluctant to click on any link, here are the questions you will face in the survey, following a brief introduction to the survey.  I’ve included some of my short answers, just for sharing.  Of course you may be elaborate and lengthy, it’s all up to you.

Begin Quote…

I am conducting a research survey on End of Life and a Good Death for my PhD project.

It's my PhD project which I have completed the pilot study and now going into full research.

The idea started as a feedback of my previous public lectures and the intention is to create awareness of this important topic since it's a taboo in so many societies. Understanding the meaning of death alone can plant the seed for accepting and thus preparing death.

The results of the research will provide generalizable knowledge of the attitudes and experiences of our community on a good death and we could fill the gaps of the knowledge through public education, talks and other supports.

We would be grateful if you took a few minutes to fill in this anonymous research on End of Life Care and a Good Death. With your voluntary participation to provide honest feedback to us, the research content can only get better and benefit more people in the future. Please feel free to ignore survey questions that you are not comfortable answering.

Thank You.

1. Gender

2. May I know your Age, Race, Religion, Nationality and Profession?

3. Have you thought of the death of your loved ones?

4. If yes, who have you thought about and what have you thought about?

My answer: Parents suffering illness and watching them slowly dying.

5. Have you thought of your own death?

My answer : Yes.

6. If yes, what have you thought about?

My answer : Sudden death, leaving loved ones in pain, unfinished business.

7. What is a good death to you?

My Answer: Knowing my time, having enough time to settle things well and say goodbye to my loved ones.

8. How can you achieve this good death?

My answer: Impossible to be certain, but plan to live a fulfilling life, take care of my health, mental and physical, be honest and sincere (even if it hurts), love and be loved. Above all of that, have faith in God and keep it.

Thank you for coming and completing this survey. Please email me if you have further queries at everygooddeath@gmail.com For an independent opinion regarding the research and the rights of research participants, you may contact a staff member of the National University of Singapore Institutional Review Board (Attn: Ms Tan Hui Cheng, at telephone 65- 6516 7359 or email at irb@nus.edu.sg)

With Gratitude,

Robin Chan Tuck Wai

Powered by SurveyMonkey

Create your own free online survey now!

End Quote.

Here’s the facebook invitation

“We are conducting an online research survey on End of Life and a Good Death and need your help. It was my PhD project which I have completed the pilot study and now going into full research. 
Pls Click here to take 5 mins survey:
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/687QMT3

The FB event link is here.
https://www.facebook.com/events/222832181110793/
Thank you for your help and pls invite your friends by sharing this msg.

You may notice the online survey is powered by SurveyMonkey.  I just had to put a lighter note to this serious matter by telling my friend “Haha, it’s powered by surveymonkey. As if the survey is conducted by a monkey. No offense”

Good thing he wasn’t offended.

Such a good spirit.  Do lend him a hand ya. It is a very brief survey after all.

The FB event link is here.https://www.facebook.com/events/222832181110793/