Turn around b!

I was at the new Borneo Baruk Club in KL last Friday for their macho nite theme. Invitations were sent via sms but the crowd was rather tame. The live band played familiar songs quite okay but only a few felt the urge to dance. The rest just swayed and tapped and did their little slides.

One table caught my attention though. A couple accompanied by a slightly overweight and tall woman. She was wearing a blue shirt and a khaki, probably got there from work. She may be big but her moves were groovy.

As the music picked up tempo and the band played the familiar funky sounds, more people got up and shook their booties. That was the time when I thought ‘what the heck, let’s dance with someone’, cos the only person drinking with me was my school mate, and he was not about to mingle with strangers, let alone dance.

So I slid into the big girl’s dancing circle and faced her. She was glad to have me and instantly took my hand. It only took her five seconds to say “turn around bitch!” and take total control. She hugged me like the small man that I am, made me swirl and practically sucked my neck!

“Shit! I’m the arms of octopussy!” I told myself.

“You’re drunk…!” I told her with a big and nervous smile.

She said nothing and continued to ‘make’ me dance, like a puppet master, profusely licking my neck.

“You’re really drunk aren’t you…” I told her again.

She just smiled.

‘Ok, don’t panic. Keep dancing and when she lets go, dance the opposite direction and pretend you really need a drink at your place’ I told myself.

When I finally got to my place, I took a big sip from my mug and told my friend all about the death dance.

He gave out a huge laugh and said ‘Yeah, I saw everything! Wanted to warn you about the probability but you did it anyway.’

How was I to know? All I wanted was a decent dance…


I avoided looking directly toward her direction for a while and just danced at my place. I was lucky she didn’t come for her second helping.

Good thing there was this mature looking lady in a skimpy outfit; good figure and moved like she’s done pole dancing all her life; looking my way. At least she provided the decoy. But yeah, that’s another story. And no, she didn’t tell this bitch to turn around.