Bummer!

A shocking thing happened to me just now. At 4 pm I was heading to a sub-contractor’s office. On Jalan Tun Razak, traffic was on the usual crawl (but bearable since it’s not rush hour yet) I was minding my own space in front, stop-and-going with the flow. Behind me was a young couple in a black Hyundai Atoz. The chick’s kinda cute.

Moments passed as cars played choo-choo train, slowly and patiently moving to pass the bottle necking point up front. After IJN and in front of the Hospital compound, I casually braked and stopped, as did the car in front. Then, as immediate as it was sudden, a thud came from behind, I was jerked front to back. I hit the brakes, looked at my rear view mirror and saw the young couple tailing me earlier.

The chick looked alarmed but not horrified. The driver did not panic. My heartbeat was racing as I thought of what to do next. Cars in front were moving again and I grew more concerned. Looking at the couple behind, I motioned that we pulled over to the sides and to my relief saw a bus stand a couple of meters up front.

They must not get away before I can asses the damage. I quickly signaled and started to approach left toward the bus stand. Keeping my eyes fixed on the Atoz. When I got there the couple was still trying to cut the lane to move toward me. I got off and inspected my car’s behind, still focused on the Atoz. A cover patch on my bumper was dangling but very much intact. Good thing I didn’t lose it on the road. I stood up and waited for them to arrive.

*&%# ! How hard is it to just keep your distance and brake in time. It’s not like we were moving at 80 kmph! Everybody was doing 15 to 20 kmph for pete’s sake! Now they’ve given me unnecessary cardio beats. I'm a little angry at this senseless incident. My heart was still beating furiously. My mind, on the other hand, thought there was nothing major so I kept my cool. They finally got through the traffic and pulled over behind me. The chick came out first.

I looked at her face. Her expression was apologetic. She looked good though. But wait a minute, she was sitting at the passenger side. Hey! Where the hell is the driver? And why the hell did I force a smile?

“Did we hit you hard? Is the damage bad? We’re so sorry, mister” she pleaded.

“Not really. Just this thing popping out of my bumper.” I answered as I bent down and tried to fix the dangling cover back on. It didn’t go in easily. I had to let out a loud groan, just so they know this is not exactly what I intend to do under the sun beside a chick whose boyfriend was so chicken to come out first. At that point he was out of the car himself.

“Is it bad? We’re sorry man” he said.

I looked at him, turned to her and then bent down again to continue fitting the cover. Damn this thing is stubborn! My eyes scanned the rest of the section to see if there were any dents and scratches. None. Except for circles of dust caused by droplets of rain. Hadn’t washed my car in weeks and it's obvious.

Finally it clicked and my bumper was like new again, dirty no doubt, but without damage. I stood up, looked at the couple and they apologized again.

Do I want to give them a piece of my mind? Do I want to translate my beating heart’s rhythm into anger and dish out hot, flaming advice? Ask for damage repair money maybe? Given the traffic and blazing sun and all?

I asked this after I satisfied myself that there’s no dent and scratches on.

Looking at the chick, I just said ‘it’s okay’ as she apologized again. I uttered ‘it’s okay’ as well when the guy apologized next. I gave them an obvious fake grin with a twist of pissed off look, turned around and got back in my car. I clapped the dust off my hand, started the engine, gave a right turn signal and got the hell out of there. They must have waited a while so they won’t pass me somewhere in the queue since I didn’t see them far behind me.

I hate to say it but I have been kissed once now. It might not be a horrible incident but it taught them a lesson or two.

Keep your distance if you are incapable of focusing on the road. Especially when with a chick! When touching happens, pull over. When heavy petting occurs, get a room! When you’ve kissed someone, be scared, be very scared, coz there’s no telling what the psychotic kissee is capable of doing. It doesn’t matter if you’ve caused a scratch, a dent or nothing at all. If he’s not in a good mood, he might yell at you, call his posse, beat you up while they’re on their way, screw your girlfriend and rob you at gunpoint. He could easily be a convict on the run, a thug or a serial killer.

Beware…

On a lighter note, it also taught the driver another lesson. When in trouble on the road, if the situation permits, use your girlfriend to soften the male victim’s emotion. His anger might cool off when he sees a cute chick who’s tactful and charming. Let her get out of the car first, walk apologetically toward the driver and plead for forgiveness. For minor or no damage, the victim may just forget the incident and assure that it’s no biggie. He might show that he’s pissed off but you’re in no danger of being sued, fined or bashed up to death.

Hell! Who am I kidding, he knew this long before I did.

I’m a sucker for pleading chicks!