Oktoberfest

September ended and I’m wide awake. The holiday season came with candies, cookies and cakes. It’s almost the end of October and I’m not quite sober. Because yesterday I had beer, beer and more beer!

Last week was Oktoberfest in 1 Utama, KL. It was the best! Locally speaking of course…

The real Oktoberfest may have ended on 3rd October in Munich, Germany but it is never too late in October, especially in Malaysia!

I kept typing and deleting words here. *Hick*

Have a look at them pictures instead, aight!

Now that's a sign that would turn any beer drinker into a happy redeemer.

This is the last day, Sunday. I was here on Saturday with a longer 'Q'

Only Warsteiner beers go cheap. The rest go by the bucket. Four in a bucket costs 50 bucks. Heh, payback time I guess.

After my third bottle, they ushered in the roast pig. No, my vision's not blurred yet, it's just my camera.

Guess where a part of that little piggy went... on a plate in front of me. Ruff! That'll do pig, that'll do.

Loads of bucket; the other brands.

The band from Germany, Inntaler Musikanten. That lady can sing!



We sang and we danced to Bavarian tunes. Jolly good times!

And we took part in the beer drinking competition. Those are my fellow competitors/drinkers from the crowd. The first one to finish a bottle with no hands, no spills, strictly mouth to bottle contact, wins.

Guess what, a lady won. Go figure! Look Ma! No hands!*

The Bavarian dancers. They're all local though.

The tricked-out-cars' ladies of the track.

Can-can dancers?

Fiesta!

Hawaian flavor.

And the fun kept on coming.

I had to leave around 10 to hang out with friends who came late. They couldn't make it on time so I made a few new friends to get by. Isolation is not good for me.

What a great way to end the month. I'm wishing upon a star to be at the real thing.

X-Dream

Last night gave me the weirdest but most delightful dream ever. Somehow I was sitting in a common area with two elders, it was approaching dusk. We were each sitting on an armchair, a round coffee table in the middle. The conversation was strangely about heating a glass of water with bare hands. The demonstration was done by the wiser elder. Both his palms were holding the side of the glass and I could see the water starting to bubble. Vapors were appearing and finally the water boiled. I was so impressed that I took the glass and tried my hands at it. I clasped the now warm glass tightly. Nothing happened at first. I began to intensify my concentration and regulate my breathing. I remember someone said that breathing helps in meditation.

Or was it child labor?

Anyway, I soon saw small bubbles appear but the action was disrupted by my breathing cycles. The water seemed to be heating and bubbling when I inhaled deeply and stopped when I exhale. But I was pretty ecstatic with the result. I could actually heat water with my bare hands!

Not long after that I found myself in a special talent workshop. More like special powers workshop. (You know how dreams are, we get removed seamlessly from one place to another with no apparent reason) There were many other teenagers, (yeah, it didn’t feel awkward, I felt like one of them) all excited to start the session. The group was divided into two.

My group was taught to turn on light bulbs with just a touch. After most of us managed to do that, we were taught to control metals. By just pointing toward the metal object, the instructor orchestrated the movements of the white square metal plates forming the ceiling and the walls of the room; they seemed to twist, turn and wriggle. I don’t know how we managed to do it but one by one, each of us successfully attained the skill. One kid even rearranged the ceiling, opening it up before replacing it with fancy decorations.

“Hey, this is almost like having Magneto’s powers” I exclaimed in delight as my left index finger did its magic.

The two groups were then combined and I heard the other instructor said “Ok guys, show them what you’ve learned”

To our amazement, one kid started to float after another. They performed the skills that we were taught. Light up bulbs and bend metals, all this while floating.
“Ah, these could be the advanced kids” I assumed, all green with envy.

Everything seemed real and possible, it didn't occur to me that this might be a dream.

The workshop session ended and we mingled. Not long after that, we were dismissed and I found myself in a small group walking in the fields. Some of us were floating delightfully, happy with what they have learned.

Suddenly I heard someone yelled “Duck! Quick, into the bush!”

We scrambled toward a thick bush of high grass and thick vines. I looked up and saw a green dinosaur. It looked like T-Rex but uglier, and scarier. We were pissing terrified and the inconsistent bush didn’t help. Some of us were occasionally exposed as we cautiously maneuvered our way through.

“Geez, I hope it doesn’t see us before we get to safety” I thought as I rustled my way through the thick grass and choking vines.

And then I woke up.

How come so weird?

It could be the “Goblet of Fire” DVD rerun session last week. The floating and light bulb touches could be the effect of watching Justin Timberlake's 'Rock Your Body' during my daliy dose of MTV before bed. Add to that the holiday season just around the corner and life feels like a summer blockbuster.

Happy Deepavali to Hindu friends.
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to Muslim friends.
And to everyone, Happy Holidays.
Let's all be safe.

Happy hours

Exactly last week, I was at a bar with some friends. Nearby was this middle aged man drinking with his friend. Our friends talked and it was only a matter of time that we did. We introduced ourselves and got the small talk going on. I asked him what he does and he told me he was in the insurance business. He didn’t reciprocate immediately. But when he did, he added one startling question, right after asking ‘where do you work and what do you do?’ Guess what the question was…

‘Are you happy?’

What the …..am I happy?! What’s that suppose to mean?

“I’ve been there four years. I’m happy with the environment. I like how things are done. No permanent stress. Heavy work load is seasonal. It suits me just fine.” I explained.

“It’s all about excelling in life. Where do you see yourself five years from now? You must have a plan. Even the government has a five year plan” he said.

“First you set what you want to achieve in five years and the steps to get there. After that five years you evaluate where you stand and trace your steps, improvise and customize your strategies. Set your plan for the next five years” he added.

I just smiled and listened, that’s as polite as I get.

“You see, there's not as much time as you think. When people graduate, they’re in their twenties. As soon as they finish their studies, they look for a job. After a while, you know what they do? They look for another job, a better one. And it goes on like that until they're satisfied with their positions. When people reach my age, there's not much time left. People my age can’t afford to change jobs anymore. Options are limited. So it's very critical to step on it while you’re still young and full of energy” he passionately elaborated.

All that left me thinking ‘when did I seek career consultation? Who does he think he is?’

“I train people to earn half a million each year. On average. Even those not doing so well earn two hundred thousand a year! I’ve been in this business for quite a while. Let me give you my card. Give me a call if you’re interested.” He concluded.

I took his card, gave it a quick look under the dim lighting and put it in my pocket. He was quiet for a while. A glance to the TV made him change the subject. “Hey, how about Schumacher in Japan eh?” he said to another regular. They talked long and hard about the race in Japan. I added the little that I know.

“Eh, switch to 8TV. I think they’re replaying the A1 race. I want to see how Malaysia won the race.” He requested to one of the bartenders.

I waited for him to turn to me and close his recruitment deal but I was spared. I was ready with the backhand smash should he decide to press on. I guess the lack of interest to earn half a million gave it away. Not everyone has the same priority and purpose in life. Sure we all want to earn a fortune, but the end never justifies the means, and neither is it fixed.

I too learned my lesson. If someone asks ‘are you happy?’ after asking about my job, I’d say I most definitely am. I come to drink and have a good time damn’it! Not to be told that my job is less rewarding and I could do better. Much better. I’ll change when I want to. When I see fit. I don’t mean to be rude but it’s my life. Have a nice day *Insert Bon Jovi songs here*

And the nerve. It’s almost like asking ‘how’s your marriage? Are you happy? Can I butt in?’

Oh, and it’s a good thing that he only goes there on Monday nights. There rest of the nights he’s at home. Including weekends! How’s that for a life.

Lil' Miss Me Not

Yikes! It's Thursday, almost the end of the week. I could make myself belive that I don't have a blog if I keep this up. How time flies when work weighs a tonne, and you're not even having fun...

This space has been idle for so many days, even I felt reluctant to drop by. I actually squinted when this page loaded. Sorry guys.

"Hey! I read your blog" said a friend.

Yeah, it's been a while since I updated and I was tempted to say "Huh! You read my what?"

Hmmm... looks like I'm not really into it after all. Damn if I do, damn if I don't.

Catch'ya later, lil' miss me not. *Oh, I'm just talking to my blog.

Later good people.

Micro but huge

Got meself this little genie last week and been busy tinkering with the features. It’s relatively new in the Malaysian market for the micro system range but you can bet your bottom dollar it’s obsolete in a few months. You know how it is with technology these days. It’s either wait for the latest edition or upgrade constantly. And we all know the latter is impractical, unless you run your own gadget shop of course.

So when is the right time to buy? Whenever you need one damn’it. There’s no point waiting for the better issue. There will always be a new hot chick on the block, somewhere around the corner.

So for the past few days this ‘jalapeno’ waits for me at home, ready to please with its luscious list of features and highlights.

The first rare treat that catches the attention is the USB hosting. Yup! Plug in the thumb drive and play! Music, movies and pictures. But then again, almost all new systems today have this feature.

I already have a JVC DVD player so this main feature here is nothing new. It’s good. Dragon pick, good. Rocket start, good. Universal compatibility, including DivX Ultra, good. And most will acknowledge JVC’s ability to play almost all CDs and DVDs, bootleg, scratched or the real McCoy. Good.

There’s also a karaoke function. Haven’t tried this though.

It’s classified as a micro system but really, it looks more like a mini system. I guess that explains the big sound it generates. Sound Turbo II to be exact. Whatever the counterpart gives; bass, treble - double that. The reason? A built in amplifier. There’s also music and movies mode. Plus, there’s 3D-Phonic for that great personal cinema experience.

The only regret is it lacks the basic tone modes for specific music genres – Pop, Rock, Classic or Jazz. Not even a manual equalizer setting. I guess I’ll have to rely on the available features; experiment with multiple combinations to get the ideal tones. I’m using a huge collection of beautiful Jazz tunes and the ‘Simply Brazil’ and ‘Simply French’ sets from UnionSquare's Simply compilation range.

The speaker box comes in grey only. It matches with the main control unit but I honestly prefer a woody appearance. This one looks… well, a lot like plastic.

But hey, besides the huge sound features, it is also affordable- RM899. Again, I wouldn’t sing too long and loud about this because in a few months it devalues. Walking past this at a shop then would only cause heartbreak.

Right now, while it lasts, I’ll just enjoy this micro system in my micro bedroom. If only I have LCD TV. Let's pray for a price plunge shall we....

Now there's a tongue twister for ya.

Jack be quick

Last Friday I was at a lounge/club in Bangsar with a friend. She loves the place because the DJ plays good music. None of that house or trance stuff. Just music you could move to, some new, some old school and some remix. A little bit of Latin salsa added to taste. Throw in some classic rock tunes and I’d be there all night.

She introduced me to the DJ as he was roaming the space in between songs. After a short conversation he looked at me and asked “Do you want that with ice?”

“Huh? What’s that mean?” Puzzled, I grinned wide.

“Do you want it mixed, and with ice?” he asked again

“Seriously man, I don’t get it.” I told him.

“Don’t move!” he told me.

Ok, I could do that. I gave my friend the most puzzled look I could muster and she said “He said don’t move. He’ll be back.”

Yeah I know what he said. I just don’t know what he meant!

We talked a while. Then came DJ Joe with a glass of drink. He handed it to me and I was given the next puzzle.
“Oh snap! What’s he doing. Does he want to clink glasses and say cheers? Coz I haven’t ordered a drink yet. Or is he giving me a drink? He just met me. He can’t be buying me a drink already? I’d be dead embarrassed if it wasn’t for me. Dang, here goes nothing.” So I took the drink.

Sensing that there was nothing else to do but take a sip I lifted my glass and said cheers.

“Hey, this is good. Coke and whiskey! Excellent!” I noted.

With eyes round and wide he smiled and said “JD!”

Then it hit me. “Owh! Oh! ... Wow! With ICE! Yeah! Thank you!” It was a mix of delight and amusement. I forgot that I was wearing this!


Well I never! This is new. I didn't know wearing the right stuff could get you a free drink!

DJ Joe, what a character! Smooth sippin' indeed. I soon learned that he bought his own bottle; for work and friends.

Splendid! I've found another place where someone knows my name. And that someone is Joe! Jack I've known a long time.

Fast but not furious

Ramadhan, the fasting month for Muslims around the world is here again.
Selamat berpuasa. Make it count, make it blessed, people...



How does that affect me?

Well, for sure, food bazaars will be everywhere in the evening. There'll be all kinds of food, traditional and international style dishes for starters, main course and deserts. There'll be loads of 'kuih' varieties to choose from, those are knick knacks or local tapas.

Then there's the late supper. An assurance that food will be available up to 4 am! Piping hot! Very convenient during the weekends, especially after football matches.

The pantry will be smoke free for a good month. Nothing like the smell of cigarette smoking to announce one's non compliance. I'm loving the fresh air already.

And just this morning the boss announces that office will close at 5pm, an hour earlier, giving time for everyone to get home and prepare to break fast at sun down. Good news. Ah, that means it's 20 minutes before I get the heck outta here. That was fast!

I suspect the journey home would be a nightmare though. Well, here goes nothing. Diff... diff... (Japanese for 'drift')

*Selamat berbuka

The pace

Remember ...

...how you were so concerned about growing up that there’s just not enough time to enjoy childhood?

...how you can’t wait to get over with school and start work so you don’t have to worry about coursework and exams anymore?

... how you gaze at a bunch of kids and admire their care for absolutely nothing at all?

... how you wondered where this relationship is going and how long it would take to get there, wherever ‘there’ is?

Exactly!

When was the last time you pulled over and reflect on how fast you were going? Or were you not going fast enough?

Where are you going anyway?

You kissed?

On my way to work this morning, at a long traffic light stop, I felt a slight impeded jerk forward, my handbrake was on.

“Oh not again. Who’s it this time” I grumbled as I looked at the rear view mirror. The woman behind looked concerned. She pulled the hand brakes and just sat there. That just means one thing; she doesn’t care and I have to make her.

The light was still red and I glanced to my side for incoming motorbikes. Clear. I got out and walked to see the damage. She instantly opened the door and motioned half her body out.

I looked at my bumper and saw no scratches, bumps and bruises. Oh well, it’s nothing. I turned my head toward her as she gave an inquisitive shrug, as if asking ‘Is everything okay? Are we cool then?’

What a way to start the morning eh? Imagine that. Not even an instant apology. Not even a fake ‘oh, I’m so sorry…’ I was pretty agitated so I gave her a cold look and turned away. If my behind could talk, it’d say ‘yeah, whatever, retard’. I walked straight to my seat. Soon it was time to go.

Huh? What’s that? I’m mean? Hell yeah. Try minding your own business when suddenly someone gives you a rude nudge on your butt. Better yet, get it pinched. And no, they’re not sorry at all. You’ll see what I mean. Besides, we were in the middle of the road. I’m not used to stopping the traffic. And by her looks, she won’t either.

Huh? What’s that? I’m mean? Hell yeah. She can consider herself lucky she’s not my type (read: I'm not amused). Otherwise I’d ask for a chat by the roadside. And maybe her number too. You’ve read bumper stickers and car signs that say ‘You kiss, you pay’. Well, she didn't have to. End of story.

Don't be heisty

Sunday 12.30 pm. I was getting ready to fetch my sister in law at the airport when the phone rings.

Lady: Hello, is this Mr. Agustus?
Agus: Speaking.
Lady: Uh, this is your office neighbor, our office is below yours. You’re a staff of *edited* right?
Agus: Yes, that’s right.
Lady: Yeah, there’s been a break in at our block. All three levels were burglarized. The police are here investigating. You should call a representative to handle the situation at your place.
Agus: Oh, ok.

I hung up. My heart plunged in disbelief. I wished it was just a dream. The conversation sounded faint. It was a good minute before I called my boss and relayed the bad news. He lives nearby and was the most logical person to be expected at the scene. Imagine that… I told my boss to get his ass to the office asap!

He called back asking “Agus, where are you now?”

“I’m going to the airport to fetch my sister in law. I plan to get there after that, in three hours time” I told him.

“Oh, ok then. I guess I’ll get there now.” Said the boss.

My thoughts were focused on the incident throughout the journey. My mind was multi tasking while driving and having a conversation with my sister in law. She must be exhausted from the flight and she must have loads to say so I kept the bad news to myself.

When we got to the Swiss Inn at Petaling Street, I told her that we would be going to the mall for some weekend shopping, if she wasn’t so tired that is.

“The mall is near my office. I’m gonna have to drop by the office for a while to check on stuff. There was a break in last night and I need to know what’s missing. After that we go to One Utama Shopping Mall.” I told her.

Here’s the good news. I’m so glad I bring my lap top home everyday. Some asked me why I need to carry the laptop around when I meet them after work. And why I must bring it back home everyday. I don’t really do my work at home. I just have personal stuff in my laptop and it’s sort of an extension of my brain. Plus there’s a huge entertainment value in there that I must have access to all the time.

“Do you have to watch it everyday?” Bert once asked me.
“Not really, but yeah.” I replied.

And now I have another solid reason. This laptop is my own and there’s nothing I can do about it if it gets stolen at the workplace.

Two CPUs were also taken, one each from accounts and marketing department. Some 500 bucks were taken from the petty cash box. And worst of all, my boss’s new Dell Laptop. Yikes! That’d make any man cry.

The rest of the CPUs were already disconnected and ready to go. It seemed to be a grand heist kind of plan. In the end however, they were left hanging. The burglars were interrupted somehow. They left in a hurry but not without making a mess. Drawers, cabinets, boxes and briefcases were ransacked. They must be searching for small valuables and stacks of cash.

Oh well, at least I still have my lap top. Oh, and I’m so glad I didn’t forget my digital camera in the drawers.

“What else is valuable on my table.
Oh sheet! My coffee grinder. My hand cranked grinder was on the table!
And sheet! My DeLonghi electric burr grinder was in the pantry!
Arghhhh! I sure hope they missed those…
Now I really need to get there. Otherwise I won’t be sleeping tonight. Sure they’re not that expensive. But they’re not cheap either!”

When I got there a few hours later, boy was I glad to see my coffee grinder still on my desk. And its electric cousin was still in the pantry. *Joy* The damage is minimal to me.

This morning I was rushed to set up two spare CPU for my colleagues and one old laptop for my boss. Now that everything is in order, I blog.

Eye see

What is this image that I see
A lonely eye staring at me
Big, brown, it’s kinda scary
It’s very alert, and it’s not happy

It stares up, and it stares down
It gives a weird sense of frown
Coz this is lame and I better shut up
It’s just coffee mud running down my cup

Sad day

I received a text from a friend saying Crocodile Hunter was killed by a sting ray.

I thought 'Oh! Not another prank news about poor Stevie. Last time it was a crocodile. Now a sting ray?'

I instantly browsed the internet and found several sources which confirms this tragic news.

Here's one. And another. How I wish this is just another prank.

Not a good day today. My deepest condolence to his family and friends. I will miss his antics. Watching his documentaries will never be the same again.

Farewell mate.

Drift

The drift to Kalumpang didn't give me a great set of pictures this time around. It gave me and the others the grandest, wettest and smokiest time ever!

Browsing through the pictures, I realised they were not properly set up, no instruction for a decent pose or angle. Don't even get me started about focus and lighting...

Heck, we were too busy between doing crasy stuff and making time for all the things we planned to do. Damn! We had fun.

Rescue me...!

The rapids looks fierce don't it? Nah, it's really for show and sound actually.

But boy, did we tempted nature or what?

Wife: Honey, could you help me drop lil' Jim by the river?

Husband: Sure dear. My friends are coming along too.

Ladies in the water

Bert taking the plunge. Terrific or terrified?

My turn next.

The open cinema, watching 'Fragiles' by the pool under the stars. After an excellent BBQ. Nope, no pictures of the BBQ. My hands were full, then my tummy was full! It was that good!

I took some more pictures but they have served their purposes; passed around to be shared and treasured.

Kal Oomph Pang!

Last weekend was special. Instead of waiting for Mars to appear like a moon in the sky, I was busy dipping, floating and resurfacing in the river of Kalumpang.

Arghhh! The water's cold. Good thing there are boulders heated by the sun.

But since today is Monday, I'm going to take some time to recover from the blues and post the rest of the pictures and the story later ;-P

Meanwhile, some pictures are at Bert's, Dzu's and Ifzan's .

Mars spectacular hoax

Much have been said and circulated around the internet about mars travelling so close to earth it will look like we have two moons on August 27, 2006. I Googled about and learned that it is actually a hoax (I'm so stuck in Yesterday) Or is it? Check out these links, links and links. Well, you'll get the picture.

I mean, the interest and anticipation of this so called factual event happening makes some people unsure what to believe anymore. Could the multiple debunking of this spectacular event in the internet be a hoax as well? An elaborate one I might add.

On second thought, I'll just keep the reminder of the event at the little corner of my thoughts, in my 'just curious' basket. Meanwhile, I'll just go about my original plans, having fun over the weekend, occassionally watching the night sky, just in case I see two moons. I'll be outdoors barbequeing anyway. But it will be an absolut sober event, which means I'll just see one good old moon and some bright stars. Wheee

Meanwhile, here's a picture of mars from one of the links above, the Hoax Slayer, just so you won't end up with a stiff neck come Monday.

They say men are from Mars.

A party and a gig

It's already Wednesday but I'm only posting last weekend's events. Catching up on updates used to be easy. Now it's about priorities. Oh heck, that's just one lame excuse. But that's no reason to slow down. There's much to do around town.

Last friday my bunch of new friends and I went ot watch Adam Sandler's Click. Loved it! I can't tell you my favorite bits and how they made me feel coz that'll just ruin your experience. Plus, there are no favorite bits, it just flows effortlessly. I love this flick, it just clicks!

After the movie we went to T Club at Bangsar for some drinks (and a good dance...) It turned out to be a great party. What a great set of friends I was introduced to, lucky me.

They say friends come and go. I say, at least they came (so I get a chance to make it last)

Then on Saturday, I went to this Seattle band tribute. Love the setup. But the bands that played didn't stay true to the theme. Each one tried to inject their own creations which were not that good. Like hello...! It's a tribute to Seattle Bands, so step up. It might not sound like the real thing but they could at least try...

Except for Stonebay. I could be totally biased because this band, specifically the guitarist, is our friend, but I'm totally biased because they played the songs that mattered and played good they did! Stone temple pilot's Interstate love song and Plush, Pearl Jam's Animal and Alice in Chains' Rooster. There's gotta be at least one song that you love in this one!!!

"Wow! You went to a gig! That's so cool" said Zack when I told him about last weekend.

"Yeah, but it's not really a hard core gig. And I was told to come coz the guitarist is a friend of a blogger friend. Also it's a time to remember the songs we used to listen to growing up." I told him.

"I didn't know you listened to those kind of songs in high school..." he asked

"True, but I've learned to love them (Good songs are hard to ignore). Like they say, 'when it's gone, you'll miss it sooner or later' " I explained.

" Stonebay stoned" came Bert's text as we each reached home, "coz 'Stonebay rocked' doesn't quite sound right" he elaborated.

The crazy crew.

"Hey, if the gig wasn't what u expected, let me know and I'll compensate your cover charge" Brucie the guitarist apologized.

Hey Brucie (CPMS, pass this one to Brucie), I came to see Stonebay play and I'm glad to be there, no apology and/or compensation expected.

We don't care about the rest of the bands really, especially after their strayed performance.

Jim and tonic

A shaken and stirred conclusion to Jim's tour of duty free

(Note: Conversations are in Malay, English translation in blue.)



It was a good two minutes of staring at the band when the GRO attempted another conversation with Jim.

“Girlfriend kamu dari mana? [Where’s your girlfriend from? ]” She asked.
“Miri” Jim answered, they continued looking at the band.

“Bila mau kahwin? [When are you getting married? ]” she pressed on.
“Ah, belum lagi. Duit tak ada lagi. Kereta belum beli, rumah belum beli [Ah, not the time yet. Money’s not enough. I haven’t bought a car, or a house ] ” explained Jim.
She nodded and finished her drink.

Jim saw this and prayed for help. There was nothing else to discuss. He’s damn sure she would soon order another drink.

Sure enough, she asked “Satu lagi beer ya? [Another glass of beer ya? ]”
“F***!! How the hell did I get into this? She’s about to suck another fourteen bucks and all I have is one! ” Jim complained in silence.

“Swipe…” the devil called.
“F*** you inner voice. I’m not charging my card for this GRO, not worth it!!! Screw the ‘priceless’ ad for Mastercard” (Yeah, he only brought Visa)

Horror struck as Jim nodded and said OK.
“Black magic woman!” he thought, angry at the seemingly mystical force empowering her.

Then she asked again “Belanja satu lagi minum ya? [Buy me another drink ya? ]”

‘Dear Lord, thank you for giving me a second chance to say “No, f*** off! Amen’, he gave thanks, broke the gridlock and bravely said “Tak ada cash lah, tinggal berapa ringgit lagi [I’ve got no more cash, just a few bucks left ]”

“Satu saja bah, boleh bah [Only one, please… ]” she pleaded.
‘When did she became a Sabahan bah? Or Sarawakian bah!’ Jim thought.
‘Bah! I don’t care, I’m still going to say I have no cash.’ he strategized.

Holding her hands on his lap he said to her “Ok, tak apa, saya mau balik, jadi kita dua angkat sama-sama [Ok, tell you what, I gotta go, so we’ll both get up ]”. He hoped she understood the plan to save face, so nobody gets embarrassed.

“Ambil duit ya [To get cash ya… ]” she suggested bitchfully (Jim’s word, not mine. I’d put ‘cheerfully’)
“Tak, tak, Saya mau balik, tak cukup duit sudah ni [No, no. I have to go, no more cash here ]”
“Boleh bah, ambil duit. Datang sini lagi…[Sure you can, get cash. Come right back ]” she persuaded.

“Tak boleh lah. Ok. [I really can’t. Ok ]” with all his might Jim lifted his glass and tried to drain the remaining half of his Long Island tea. It almost blew his brains out. But his glass wasn’t even empty yet! (How optimistic)

“So” he started “Lenny, saya balik dulu, nice meeting you, jumpa lagi [Lenny, I’m leaving now, nice meeting you, see you around ]

(Yeah, I hear you, when did that name, Lenny, came about? Anyway, )

Jim held her hand, reached for her left cheek and gave her a quick kiss. She looked at him wide eyed and smiled, finally saying “Ok, bye, see you”

Jim smiled back as he began to step away, telling himself ‘Now, all you have to do is keep walking, and don’t let the booze get to you and fall smack on your face! Walk straight damn it!’

‘Wait a minute, why did I kiss her? That could cost me.’ He thought. He dared not look back lest a bouncer or two catch up with him and demanded he pay for the kiss.

Finally reaching the door, he grabbed the handle, swung it open and took in a deep breath of island breeze. Musty but fresh. Jim Beam-ed. Damn! He was relieved to be out of the ego trap. How could he have said no to buying a woman’s drink, or denying her a seat by his side? Or admitting he has enough money for himself only.

‘F***! That bitch cost me fourteen bucks, and a little leftover of Long Island! What a waste! I can’t drink all that in less than 10 minutes!’ He thought, as he carefully arranged his steps toward the hotel, just 10 meters away.

‘What a way to end the evening - early, broke and sad, and still lonely (not that it was an issue really) Well, at least I didn’t screw up so bad. No sir, I wasn’t screwed. I didn’t screw! Not tonight! Hmmm, is that good or bad?’such was his reasoning; his head was quite messed up, (yeah, both of them).

Back at the hotel lobby, he tried to calm down. He sat at the sofa near the reception, reading the newspaper. After a while he approached the male receptionist whom he thought should know a trick or two, being in the business and all.

“How do I reject a GRO here in Labuan? Any tips? Coz they’re quite a nuisance really. I just got back from the club across the road. All I wanted to do in there was enjoy the live band, me and my drink, and this GRO just ruined everything?” Jim explained.

“Oh, Just say no. It’s that easy” explained the receptionist.

“They won’t get offended or mark you and stuff? You know, I’m an outsider and it’s pretty obvious. This is my first time here and I’ve heard rumors, horror I tell you” Jim needed a confirmation.

“Nah, as long as you’re polite they’re okay with it. It’s their job. They’ll just go for the next potential client” the receptionist assured him.

‘Oh I was polite alright; too polite for my own good. I guess entertaining an approaching woman dressed to kill means something else here” he thought. (It means you’re in the zone - sex for hire, get it while it’s hot! Oh who am I kidding - It’s always hot!)

Jim walked back to his room reflecting on his experience. In his room he sat at the writing table, thinking ‘damn, how dumb can one get? I must not forget this incident.’ He opened his journal and started to write…

Labuan, March 27, 2004.

My Fourteen Ringgit GRO………

(Cheap. Now that’s priceless!)

Jim's tour of duty free

Note: Conversations are in Malay, with English translations in blue.

Jim has been sitting in the theater-turned-club lounge area listening to bad singing for quite some time now. He entered the place early after dinner at 9pm because he wanted to start experiencing duty free Labuan island’s night life with a good head start.

It was his second night there, having arrived late and tired the night before, with a pounding headache. He didn’t have time to think then so he bought a taxi coupon for Sheraton upon arrival, only to find the rate disturbingly expensive, too expensive for his boss’ approval he reckoned. “Oh what the hell, I’m spending the night here and check in to a cheaper one tomorrow” he thought, too tired and sick to even think about looking for a cheaper alternative. Besides, he had already sent his ride away.

The karaoke session that night was painful to say the least. Bad singers came one after the other. “Why don’t they have private rooms for this kind of torture? It’s like enduring Cameron Diaz’s singing in ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’, without Cameron Diaz, and all of them are men!” he silently grumbled.

As his mug of Tiger beer emptied, he ordered a glass of Long Island Ice Tea. His drink came and he took a sip. His eyes widened, his brows jumped and his brain shook. “Now that’s tea. Talk about duty free, uhuk...huk” he chuckled with absolut delight.

Moments later the band came up. “Finally! If only I have friends around” He said to himself.

As the band started playing, the place too started to fill up. Soon he was surrounded by strangers, all mingling about, making him more conscious about his loneliness. One song, he was lonely, two song, he’s still lonely, three song and everyone got the picture, he was alone!

Half hour had passed when he was approached by a petit lady wearing a tight black dress.

“Seorang ya? [You alone?]” she asked, speaking in local accent, typical of Labuan and Sabah, almost Indonesian.
“Ya.” Jim answered and continued to face the band in front.

“Tak ada kawan? [No friends with you?]” she continued, trying to start a conversation.
“Tak ada. [No]” Jim answered rather loudly, still facing the band which he thought rocked.

“Boleh saya jadi kawan? [Can I be your friend?] she asked.
“Ok.” Jim agreed, not a clue to what he’s gone into.

The woman sat beside him and told the other girl she came in with, (who was standing nearby all the while) to look for another lonesome cowboy. She sat quietly for a minute as Jim stared at the band. She then asked “Belanja minum? [Buy me a drink?]”
“Boleh, mau minum apa? [Sure, what do you want? ]” Jim asked.

“Beer saja [Just beer ]” she said, twice, almost shouting considering the noise level and Jim’s expression. She flagged a waiter and signaled for a drink. That sent the waiter straight to the bar.

“Minum apa itu? [What are you drinking there? ]” she asked Jim.
“Long Island” he said, offering her a sip. She almost coughed because of the intensity.

The waiter came back with a short glass of beer as a result of what seemed to be a flawless communication amidst organized chaos and noise. He handed Jim the bill which startled him. It was five times the regular price and half the volume. “Oh dear, here we go.” Jim thought, he was beginning to see the clear picture in that dimly lit atmosphere.

“Datang Labuan kerja? [You’re in Labuan for work? ]” she asked.
“Ya.”
“Kerja apa? [What kind of work? ]”
“Ada chemical mau hantar ke Shell [There’s chemicals to deliver to Shell ]” Jim explained and she nodded.

“Kamu kerja sini ya?[Do you work here? ]” It was Jim’s turn to ask the questions.
“Ya”
“Berapa lama sudah?[for how long already? ]” Jim continued.
“Tiga bulan [Three months ]”


The conversation stopped and they decided to watch the band play, occasionally sipping their drinks. Jim felt her left hand now resting on his lap and got really worried. He wouldn’t know how to react if that little hand reached his crotch. Much to his relief, she pulled it back. They continued to watch the band.

She tried the lap maneuver again and this time tried to start a long and fruitful conversation.

“Kamu dari mana? [Where you from? ]” she aksed.
Jim explained his origin, mumbling here and there; he was reluctant to expose his identity. She nodded all the same. It didn’t seem all that important to her either. She continued to work his lap with her hand which drove him absolutely mad. She lifted her glass and they clinked, neither taking a good sip.
“Tak minum? [Don’t you drink? ] She curiously asked
“Slow slow, ini keras bah… [Slowly, this is potent you know ]” Jim explained.
“Boleh mabuk ya? [Gets you drunk? ] she asked, like a little girl.
“Mh~hmmm”

“Kamu kerja dengan ejen ya? [Do you work with an agent? ] Jim investigates.
“Tidak, kalau Philippine ada ejen [No, but Pilipino usually do ]
“Kamu dari mana? [Where are you from? ] Jim asked in response.
“Indonesia”
“Oh great! What am I getting myself into now? "He sighed in regret. Getting caught employing an illegal imigrant with his pants down was the last thing he needed, especially when he's there on duty.
“Sini banyak kompeni servis GRO? [Are there many Guest Relations Officer service companies here?] Jim asked.
“Ada juga [There are some ]”
“Macam mana bisnes? [How’s business? ]” Jim was curious.
“Ok…”
“Kamu kerja sini atau sama ejen? [You’re employed by this place or an agent? ]” he continued.
“Saya GRO sini. [I’m the GRO here ]” she explained.

By this time Jim was well under the influence of alcohol. He needed to get out of there quick but his glass was three quarters full, talk about optimism! The thought of quickly gulping his drink came like radio waves to a reluctant listener. He needed to finish his drink and get out of there before she makes use of the advantage. But the Long Island Ice Tea was really hard! He was in dilema. Her glass was almost empty and soon she will want another drink. ‘Quick, stall her’ he thought.

“Kamu diberi gaji bulanan atau komisyen? [Do you get monthly salary or commission? ]” he asked her.
“Saya kerja sini. Kalau macam minum tadi, 14 ringgit kan, saya ambil 8 ringgit. Saya minum, client pun minum. [I work here. Like the drink I ordered earlier, I take 8 bucks out of the 14 bucks glass of beer ]” She explained.
“Kamu cari client ya? [You’re looking for client tonight aren’t you? ]” Jim asked naively.
“Ya”

“Saya ada girlfriend di bilik hotel tapi dia sakit kepala, maka tidak ada sama saya sekarang. Jadi saya tidak dapat bawa kamu balik bilik. [My girlfriend is back in our hotel room with a headache, so can’t take you to my room (to subscribe to your services)]” Jim lied.

She nodded, understood and replied “Saya tahu. Bukan semestinya saya mau balik bilik sama client. Yang pentingnya saya di sini order minum dan temankan customer. Order mereka minum. Kalau mereka bawa balik, boleh juga. [I understand. I don’t necessarily want to go home with the client. What’s important is that I order them drinks and accompany them. If they want to take me home, I am available as well. ]” She explained.

“Kalau mereka bawa kamu balik, itu kamu punya sendiri ya? [If they take you home, it’s all yours isn’t it? ]” asked Jim.

“Tidak, bayar di sini juga. [No they pay here first ]” she answered.
“O, hmmmm. Jadi mereka di sini uruskan semua la…[Oh, so they take care of everything right here… ]” Jim indicated his comprehension.

Once again they quietly watched the band play. The situation was increasingly awkward.

Village Coffee

After much delay, I finally got my hands on Kopi Kampung (lit. Village Coffee), a Starbucks Black Apron Exclusive from my favorite store. This particular offering comes from the Sapan and Minanga market towns in Northern Toraja, Sulawesi, Indonesia. Friends, I know, the former sounds like Sapen, but let's not go there.

Upon opening the bag, a lovely pungent scent emanates, almost like durian being served somewhere distant. There's also sesame oil. Talk about complex!

As I slowly grind the beans using the new member of my collection, this earthy/woody smell registers from the small mill drawer.

The first test was from my espresso machine. It was so good I moaned. It has a rich and full body. Smooth and elegant. I had to have another shot! And then I decided to have another shot from the normal Sulawesi beans I had previously. They're different, but I'm not sure how.

I daftly had three shots of espresso aroung 11pm last night! Ever hypnotized yourself to sleep?

And this morning I had a rich cup of dripped Kopi Kampung. The same smooth and earthy feel swirled in my mouth, signified by a tangy twist. A twang. Somewhere around the bend came this multiple spice notes, of which I'm still trying to identify.

As my empty cup dries up in my air conditioned office, I picked it up, took a deep breath of the lingering scent inside and was immediately transported to a wood fired kitchen, the one we used to have in my own village a long time ago. A kerosene stove is somewhere nearby.

They say you can't put a single definition on Sulawesi beans - a personal experience is critical.

I agree.

Sarawak Textile Museum

(a.k.a. ''Textile for Dummies'', as commented by FH2o. Brilliant!)

Kuching has many colonial style architectures and some are well preserved and tastefully rejuvenated to reflect the remnants of the British Empire of James Brooke. I say some because there are many more forgotten and abbandoned sites wearily waiting to be noticed and restored or mercifully saved from the claws of urbanisation. Others are also currently being used but the tenants just couldn't care less about the heritage upkeep.

While walking around in Kuching city browsing the alleyways and back lanes I stumbled upon a beautifully restored old building which houses the Textile Museum of Sarawak. My visit to this museum took place early July but I'm going to describe it like it was just yesterday-it's no fun talking about ancient times.

The weather yesterday was fine as I stepped into the textile museum, not without taking some pictures of the facade and the surroundings first.

Just across the road is the Sarawak General Post Office, very much alive and in operation but the building it uses is sadly not well taken care of. From far it looks fairly white. Take a closer look though and you'll see stains, thick accumulated dust and bird droppings. Plants too start growing on some nooks and crannies containing enough dirt for a good grip - nature. It really is difficult to do paint jobs and basic cleanups isn't it? Human nature.

And yet, across the road, the view is inspiring!

This is the man that greets every visitor on the first floor which displays costumes for every ethnic community in Sarawak, mostly for wedding ceremonies. This is the costume for the Orang Ulu tribe, warrior themed. Ladies, peek no lower, there's nothing down there. He's just another pretty faced dummy.

These are bidayuh newlyweds. They look guilty in one way or another, don't you think so? Hey John! What have you got behind your hand there? And why the worried face Jane? Cheer up, you just got married! Sigh, love is a strange thing.


This is a Malay wedding setup. I see more cheer in the kids' expressions.

And the Melanau newlyweds couple. At least she looks happy.

Here's an Iban couple. Oh no, the bride looks so sad... Whoa! Those are impressive biceps Joe. Go easy on her will ya!

A chart explaining the Bidayuh tribe's wedding tradition. Very elaborate costumes I must say. You wont find them in your local tailor shop though. Maybe one could get married at the museum. Now that's reality TV.

Some Imperial Chinese costumes are also on display. These are Barbie sized dolls, with sticks up their uhm... arse.

Another floor shows how cloth coloring and printing is done in the old days. This setup gave me a stun as I was not expecting anyone doing anything besides quietly browsing in the museum. The air conditioning was buzzing and it was rather cold and very quiet. Most of the time I was the only one in the room. Spooky. And some of the ugly faces didn't help either.

These ladies are hard at work. No breakfast, lunch or dinner break. Not even a ciggie. Talk about begrudged souls.

This dummy looks like it spent more time in the oven than it should. She so needs a facial as well. Clear and smooth complexion, that should do the trick.

There are many charts and posters explaining a lot of stuff about the early textile industry in Sarawak and Malaysia. Very useful for students and researchers and those working in the industry. Drop by even if you're only remotely curious. You might find something you've been wanting to learn.

But don't let the ugly dummies scare you.